First Dates Tips for Men and Women: Win Hearts Naturally

Congratulations! You’ve already asked that special someone out, and they’ve said yes to your first date. Or maybe they asked you?

Either way, you’re so nervous and excited. As you already know, it’s a proven fact that first impressions have a huge impact on how we perceive others.

These impressions begin in the first second of the meeting and are solidified throughout the date.

You’ll be surprised to learn what factors influence the formation of that first impression. If you want to find out, keep reading.

So, it’s totally normal to be nervous before the big day.

You’re feeling excited, a little anxious, and have a lot of questions on your mind: How should I behave? How should I deal with my anxiety? What should I (and shouldn’t I) talk about?

And, perhaps most importantly, assuming the date goes well, how do I take the next step?

Preparations for the first date

The day has arrived. Your head has been spinning with all sorts of possibilities and you’ve imagined the date hundreds of times.

The tingling in your stomach hasn’t let you eat all day, and you’ve been tossing and turning, anxious, unable to concentrate.

Don’t worry, it’s normal. Without those feelings, your first date would be pretty boring.

To calm yourself down a bit, prepare a few things and you’ll feel like you have the situation under control.

Read now: Heart vs. Mind: How to Break Up With Someone You Love the Right Way

Besides, it’s never wise to leave everything to chance, and what we’re about to tell you isn’t rocket science either.

However, even the hours before the first date play an important role.

Pay attention and listen to us. We’ll tell you what preparations you need to make to have the best first date possible.

1. Pre-match: Get a self-esteem boost.

Start with yourself. To overcome those pre-first-date jitters, boost your self-esteem. It’s all in your head.

Your date will immediately notice if you feel confident, and your appearance gives a lot of clues about your personality.

How to do it?

1. Get some exercise before your date, even if it’s just a brisk walk around the block. This will make you feel strong and energized, and your endorphin levels will be at their peak.

A great way to feel good and impress your date.

woman doing sports preparing for her first date

2. Listen to your favorite playlist while you get ready

What songs never fail to lift your spirits? Play them, sing them, and dance to them. We assure you they’ll have a very useful and positive side effect: they’ll make you happy.

3. Make a list of three positive things about yourself.

You don’t even need to write it down; just make a list in your head and it’ll be enough. Think about your strengths.

Do you have a special ability to make people laugh? Use this kind of thing to your advantage. It also works with details related to your physical appearance.

Mental state is one of the fundamental parts of preparation. If you already feel small and insignificant before arriving, this feeling will stay with you throughout the entire date, causing you to act awkwardly and unable to enjoy it.

Allow yourself to believe that something big is about to happen. And prepare to enjoy that moment.

2. Choose carefully what you are going to wear

Take your time to prepare yourself physically. Your physical appearance is an essential part of preparing for your date (whether you’re a woman or a man).

Don’t know what to wear? Remember this trick. Think about your favorite photo. If someone asked you to show them your favorite picture, which one would you choose?

You can also ask a friend to help you tell you which photo of yourself comes to mind when they hear this question. And voila! Problem solved!

The outfit you’re wearing in that picture is the one that makes you feel comfortable and looks great on you.

Just pray it’s clean and ironed if your date is in a few hours.

So, to give yourself enough time to prepare, don’t schedule your appointment in the middle of other matters. This way, you can prepare calmly and avoid feeling unnecessarily pressured by time.

Remember that what you wear should be appropriate for the date you’ve planned.

Don’t go overboard, but don’t go wrong either. (High heels are prohibited for an outing, and hoods for dinner at a restaurant are prohibited.)

Here’s your checklist before leaving home:

Breath – Have you brushed and flossed your teeth?
Deodorant and Perfume – Do you smell good? Remember to go easy on the perfume; we don’t want to give you a headache with our body odor.
Are your clothes and shoes perfectly clean and in good condition?
Men – Have you shaved or trimmed your beard/mustache? Bonus: Check your nails: Are they clean and neatly trimmed?
Ladies – Can you walk all day/night in these shoes? Bonus: Wear makeup, but don’t overdo it.

3. Listen and pay attention

This is something you should remember both before and during your first date. Why? You’ll discover a lot about the other person if you listen carefully.

Listening is much harder than we think, as you have to fight the urge to keep your date entertained and make sure you don’t think you have anything to talk about.

What techniques could you use in this regard? It’s all psychology. Follow this guide to get the most out of your first conversation:

Practice active listening : How? Make eye contact with the other person while they’re speaking. React to what they say and laugh when they laugh (i.e., imitate their reactions).
Don’t just listen with one ear. If you want to be a better listener, you have to focus, which is difficult if your conversation partner is telling a story that’s difficult to follow or generates a lot of questions. Try to stop your mind from wandering. If you still don’t get the gist of what they’re saying, don’t hesitate to ask questions. This will show you’re interested and care enough to ask.
Think before you speak . A good listener will take some time before answering. Phrases like “Give me a moment to think about that” make the speaker feel that you’re reflecting on what they’ve said and that you weren’t just waiting for it to end so you could launch into a conversation.
Remember the things you talked about before your date . Do you already have some information about the other person’s interests and hobbies? Keep this in mind during your conversation. This way, you’ll avoid asking trivial questions and will also feel more comfortable, even if it’s the first time you’ve met.
Observe body language and changes in tone of voice . Following these cues will help you interact and better direct your responses.
Last but not least: Forget your phone! It’s rude and will make your date feel like you’re not interested in what they have to say. It’s better to put it away.

4. Be yourself

Yes, this sounds cliché, but: Be honest! – or, in other words: don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.

The other person is supposed to like you just the way you are. So, there’s nothing positive about acting like an imposter just to impress them.

On the contrary, wearing a mask throughout the date will only make you feel more uncomfortable.

Think about the future and how your potential relationship progresses from the first date. No one wants a relationship based on lies.

Besides, can you imagine how stressful it will be to maintain that facade? Almost impossible.

Even if you consider yourself a good actor, trying to be someone else will make both of you uncomfortable.

Even if the other person doesn’t realize you’re faking at the time, they’ll figure it out sooner or later.

5. Learn from the past

If this isn’t your first date, think about everything that went wrong on past dates. Now you can use what you’ve learned and improve. What did you do wrong?

Check out: The 7 Qualities of a Healthy Relationship Every Couple Should Know

It doesn’t matter if you were late, talked about inappropriate things, or wore an inappropriate outfit.

Only by acknowledging your flaws can you improve as a person, and this doesn’t just apply to the dating world.

10 Questions You Should Ask on a First Date

Getting the conversation flowing on a first date is one of the biggest challenges.

First dates where you connect from the start and have plenty of things to talk about aren’t very common.

Generally, what happens is that there comes a point in the conversation where you don’t know what to ask.

This is where most people resort to desperate questions like, “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”, “Where do you work?”, or the classic “It seems like the weather’s starting to get nicer, isn’t it?” Please avoid these!

The problem, aside from falling into clichés, is that these questions also won’t offer you enough information to give you an idea of whether the person you’re dating would be a good potential partner for you.

Yes, your goal is to find out as much information as possible about the person you’re dating.

But that doesn’t mean you should launch into a point-blank, FBI-style interrogation.

Having some original and interesting questions prepared beforehand is a good way to keep the conversation from slumping and causing awkward silences.

Attention! Remember to plan your own answers and questions in addition to your list, just in case your date decides to ask, “What about you?”

You’re the one who started the conversation and the one who wants to steer it their way, so don’t let them catch you off guard.

Take some time and impress the other person with your improvised and interesting answers.

Here are 10 high-quality questions to get the conversation flowing, avoid awkwardness, and get to know your date better:

What is the craziest and most spontaneous thing you have ever done in your life?
If I gave you $500 right now, what would you do with it?
If you were stopped by the police and told this story to your friends, what would they think you had done to break the law?
What is the best advice you have been given so far?
What were you like as a child?
If you could change places with anyone for a day, who would you choose?
What is your ideal partner?
If you could wake up tomorrow with a special skill or quality, what would it be?
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else,
what would you want to know?
Could you send me a message to make sure you got home safely?

Choose two or three questions from this list. For each one, your date will need to think and look within themselves to give a good answer.

You can try to discover their inner child (Question 5) or their most secret desires (Question 6).

These subtle provocations, hidden in the form of innocent questions, can change the tone of the conversation and help you discover interesting aspects of the person.

Bonus tip: Touch your date. Of course, we’re not talking about sexual contact.

You’ll both be shy at first, but the longer it takes until you actually touch the other person, the harder it will be. Touching allows for a certain level of intimacy.

So, a hug at the beginning or a light touch on the back might be enough to bridge the gap, and it’ll help you figure out if it’s something you should repeat.

Read on: Build Trust and Connection with These Communication in a Relationship Tips

To give yourself more leeway and make it seem less forced, you shouldn’t sit opposite each other, but rather side by side.

Psychological Tips and Tricks: Use Science to Have a Successful Date

Communication is divided into two parts: verbal and nonverbal.

Only if the two are intertwined will your chances of becoming an expert in communication and flirting increase. But why are these techniques so important?

Around 60% of all human communication is nonverbal, and the most important are the signals your body language sends, whether you’re aware of them or not.

The remaining 30% is paraverbal, that is, the way others perceive your tone of voice and intonation.

So, according to this, 90% of what you’re communicating isn’t what you’re actually saying.

Knowing this data, what small behaviors can you introduce to get straight to your date’s heart?

Follow these psychological tips and tricks that have proven to be effective:

Address the other person by their name from the beginning of the date. This will help you establish a strong connection and also make them like you more.

People love to hear their name; it makes us feel important.

Note the color of your date’s eyes . It’s nice to know what color their eyes are, but that’s not the point.

Doing so will allow you to establish eye contact and increase your charm.

Nod your head . This simple trick is advanced psychology. If you want to encourage your date to agree with you, just nod your head while you’re talking.

There’s a good chance he or she will do the same in their response, tricking their brain into thinking they agree with you.

Use the inverted triangle . The triangle technique will show that you’re really listening to someone.

Look first at one eye, then the other, and finally, direct your gaze to their mouth. The other person will understand that you’re listening very carefully.

Ask for favors. Start with a small request, like asking for the salt shaker. People are more likely to like you afterward.

Why? Their brain will think they must already like you since they’ve done something for you.

Things you should avoid at all costs on your first date

We all know that first dates are bound to be awkward. There are some common mistakes that people make on almost every date.

So, let’s look at the things you MUST AVOID if you want to be successful.

1. Getting too excited

Don’t let nerves cause you to speak quickly or shift from side to side in your chair. Breathe deeply and relax.

2. Talking about your ex

Surprise, surprise. This is something everyone should be aware of, but there are people who are still in love with their ex (whether they know it or not), and the topic always comes up.

In fact, it’s best not to talk about any past relationships unless you’ve been specifically asked about it.

You’re sitting next to someone you want to get to know better; the past doesn’t matter now.

3. Using your phone

We’ve told you this before, but we’ll insist. It’s rude and makes the other person think you’re not interested in them.

4. Talking only about yourself

Nobody likes selfish or self-centered people. Try to maintain a balanced conversation. Ask questions and be interested in the answers.

5. Playing hard to get

This could quickly backfire. Misunderstandings will make the getting-to-know-you process endless and make building a healthy relationship more difficult.

6. Too many compliments

Bombarding with compliments isn’t a good strategy. All you’ll achieve is making your date feel uncomfortable. If you decide to give a compliment, make it sincere and honest.

7. Ask ‘And what are we?’

No. Not yet. It’s your first date, so the answer is clear. You’re two people who have a certain interest in each other. The rest will be discussed later.

8. Arriving late

Being late isn’t sexy, nor does it make you seem more interesting. The saying “all good things come to those who wait” doesn’t make sense in this context.

If you’ve agreed to meet someone at a specific time, arrive on time and don’t waste their time.

9. Being unpleasant to others

The way you treat other people in front of your date gives a lot of clues about you. Be kind and show that you’re polite.

10.Having very high expectations

This first date may lead to a stable relationship, but it doesn’t have to. If things don’t go as you imagined, don’t get discouraged.

Stay positive and keep trying until you find the right person for you.

11. Interrupting

Your parents have already taught you this. Show respect by listening to the other person and only answer when they’ve finished what they had to say.

Check out: 13 Major Red Flags in a Relationship You Should Never Ignore

Although, as we mentioned, if you want to demonstrate that you’re actively listening, you can interrupt with a few questions.

12. Getting drunk

You’ll lose control of your body and your words, and you’ll ruin your first date.

A drink can help with the nervousness, but please don’t overdo it and always remember that moderation is key.

How to get a second date?

If the date went well and met or even exceeded your expectations, you’ll probably want to go one step further and go for a second date, right?

Don’t miss the opportunity to get to know this incredible person better. Now you have two chances to ask for a second date.

However, if you’re not entirely sure about another date or if the first date was a disaster, it’s best to rule out a second date. I

f you’ve followed the steps in that guide, you’re sure you didn’t make a mistake and tried to make everything go smoothly.

However, you can’t force chemistry.

During the first date

You don’t have to wait until a reasonable amount of time has passed to ask her if she wants to go out on a second date.

In fact, you can do it during your first one. But how can you steer the conversation and talk about your upcoming date without seeming too eager?

First rule: don’t ask too soon. Leave at least an hour into the date and see if there’s any chemistry between you.

If the conversation allows it, you can make a subtle suggestion, without expecting an immediate reaction.

For example, if you’re talking about Japanese food and mention your favorite restaurant, you can casually mention that you’ll invite her over one day.

Then, go on about how delicious eel sushi is, casually, for a few seconds.

As the end of your first date approaches, try taking advantage of a previous conversation and using it to ask a question.

Here are some examples:

This XY movie we were talking about is still in theaters. How about we go see it next week?
I’m going to the XY concert this weekend. I’m sure you’d love it. Want to join me?
By the way, I meant it when I said XY has the best eel sushi in town. I’d love to take you to try it.

If the place you’re at has some drawbacks, you can also take advantage of them to ask for a second date:

Hahaha, I don’t think we should go back to this place. The XY (the food you just ate) is terrible. But I know another restaurant nearby. Maybe I can make it up to you for this terrible choice.

After the first date

Your date is already over and neither of you have dared to take the step and ask for a second one, apart from a vague ‘see you?’.

No problem. But you need to take action quickly, and there are several times when this is appropriate.

You need a little empathy to choose which of these ideas might fit best. For example, if the other person has said they’re very tired, sending a message that same night isn’t a good idea.

See now: Best First Date Ideas for Real Connections in 2025

The general rules here are: be sincere, honest, polite, and direct.

1. Immediately after the date: Ask if they got home safely. If the conversation flows smoothly, you’re on the right track. Tell them you had a great time and would love to do it again.

2. The next morning: Ask ‘How did you sleep?’ and then ‘I had a great time last night and would love to see you again. How about we try XY we talked about this weekend?’

3. Pick up the conversation where you left off, even if it’s been a couple of days. For example: “I’m still laughing at that story you told me” – skip the small talk and simply remind him or her how much fun you had.

4. Compliment her on something she was wearing or something you clearly remember from the date. Afterward, you can emphasize how much fun you had and suggest a second date.

For all of these examples, it’s best to always make a concrete suggestion, with a date and place. But don’t be too desperate by suggesting a date for the day after the first one.

Instead, leave some time and space, a couple of days of waiting makes the desire to see each other again grow and flourish.

Lastly, How to end a first date?

At the beginning, we already talked about the importance of first impressions. But this isn’t the only significant moment on your date.

Psychology says that what we remember best is the first and last thing that happens.

This is called the Serial Position Effect, and you can use it to your advantage. Your date will remember that first and last moment of your evening.

So, even if you think everything went smoothly, if you mess up the goodbye part, your chances of success will have decreased considerably.

But if you pay attention to this part, getting a second date will be a piece of cake.

Before ending this article, here are some final tips on how you should end your first date:

Tips for saying goodbye on the first date

A little physical affection will stay in both of your minds and will also help show your interest in a second date. If you’re not sure your date wants to cuddle you back, just ask.

Something more romantic, like a kiss, shouldn’t be discussed beforehand, as that would ruin all the magic.

You’ll both know when the time has come, without having to speak.

If you’re not sure you want a second date, please be polite and thank you for the evening. A little time to reflect before making a decision can be very helpful.

But remember that if you agree to a second date, you’re not committing to anything, just a conversation and a couple of hours together.

For men – Make sure your date gets home safe and sound. Call her a taxi, walk her home, or walk her to the station.

Be a gentleman and make her feel safe. Finally, don’t forget to send a text, “Did you arrive safely?”

End the date with a short joke or something funny. Nobody can hurt a little laugh.

Now that you have some information on how to behave on your first date, everything should go smoothly. Remember these tips and succeed in love

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