Entanglement thrives in intimate relationships, and before long, we may begin to see the other person as an extension of ourselves.
When we are with our partners, we frequently experience moments of warmth and security.
We put our all into the connection, allowing someone else to be a part of our lives through space, concessions, and scheduling changes.
It goes without saying that this void longs to be filled once more. As a result, ending a relationship might bring up a number of issues that may require some time to deal with and move past.
It could affect your physical and mental health. It is crucial to understand that this is typical!
If you are wondering how to get over a break up fast, this post will lead you through practical, evidenced-based steps on how to get over a break up fast, but also get you back to your happiness, confidence, and sense of peace.
10 Helpful tips for moving on after a breakup and start healing
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve, but set limits on it
One of the biggest tasks to moving on is to recognize that you are in pain and it is okay to feel sad.
It is common for people to try to ignore their painful feelings after a breakup and say things like “you have to be strong,” or “just get over it.”
However, suppressing your feelings only prolongs the process of healing.
A breakup involves loss, whether that is loss of partnership, rituals, or the future potentially with that person you dreamed about. It is completely normal to feel sad, upset, angry, or even numb at times.
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Allowing oneself to grieve, is allowing ourselves to take up space to feel the loss, rather than carry hidden pain.
Grieving will look different for everyone. It may mean crying in private, writing in a journal, or listening to sad music until the impact of the emotion lessens. It may look like venting to a trusted friend.
2. Cut-off all communication (at least temporarily).
Oftentimes, the urge to reach out after a breakup can be quite strong. You may desire closure, reassurance, or simply to hear their voice one last time. All of these thoughts and feelings are valid.
But, if you are looking to move on, maintaining a relationship with an ex makes all the processes of healing, moving on, and getting over it that much more difficult, because after every text or call, or past social media interaction, the wound of the breakup gets opened again. If you are interested in recovery, then a clean break is best.
This entails more than just resisting the temptation to send a message. It may also entail creating healthy boundaries in all aspects of your life.
Unfollow or mute them on social media so you’re not constantly reminded of their existence.
Remove their phone number from your contacts if you think you will be tempted to send them a text.
If you have mutual friends, politely ask those friends if they could refrain from telling you about what your ex-narcissist is doing.
Read also: How to Communicate Better With Your Partner: 12 Proven Tips That Work
It is similar to removing a trigger that keeps pulling you back into the past. It is too difficult for you to separate yourself emotionally from your ex-narcissist if you are still connected through technology and/or in social settings.
One way to think about it is to think about a physical injury. For example, imagine scraping your knee.
Every time you go to pick at the scab, you extend the healing process and increase the pain.
3. Lean on Your Support System
Breakups often feel isolating, as if no one can truly understand the weight of what you’re going through.
That’s why surrounding yourself with supportive people is so important.
Friends, family, or even colleagues who care about you can act as an anchor, reminding you that your life is still full of love and connection outside of your romantic relationship.
Just having someone to listen to without judgment can lighten the burden you’re carrying.
Talking through your feelings can also help you see your situation from new perspectives.
For example, a friend might remind you of the ways your ex wasn’t right for you, or a family member may share their own stories of resilience after heartbreak.
Sometimes, simply hearing “I’ve been there too, and it gets better” is enough to reignite hope. Don’t underestimate the power of human connection in the healing process.
And if you don’t feel comfortable opening up to friends or family, there are still other options.
Joining a support group, connecting with people in online forums, or even scheduling sessions with a therapist can provide much-needed guidance.
Healing is always faster when you’re not going through it alone. Even just being around people who care about you sharing a meal, going for a walk, or enjoying lighthearted conversation can remind you that life is bigger than your breakup.
4. Rediscover Yourself Through Self-Care
One of the most troubling aspects of a break-up is the way you might feel uncertain about yourself.
After spending considerable time, routines, decisions and identity with another person, it is a period of adjustment when your partner is no longer pictured in your life.
You tend to ask yourself things like “Who am I without them?” or “What do I even like to do alone?”
In the most healthiest of cases, the answers to those questions can be half-discovered by spending time with yourself.
Ultimately, taking time for yourself should be a time to rekindle passions, interests, or routines that may have been superseded and set aside for the sake of the relationship.
Self-care is not simply a bubble bath or a spa day (although those can be great!). Self-care is an activity of some kind that helps you feel centered and alive.
That may entail journaling to work through thoughts, taking up meditation to calm your mind or trying a few hobbies like painting, hiking or picking up a musical instrument.
As you devote time to yourself, you are helping to rebuild your separateness and identify with the fact that your value comes from you, not your partner.
Your physical health is also extremely important. After a breakup, it may be tempting to overindulge in comfort food or skip sleep and exercise.
But taking care of your body enhances emotional healing. Eat balanced, healthy food; exercise in a way that feels good to you (take a fun dance class, hit the gym, etc.); and get sleep.
Read also: 10 Romantic Date Night at Home Ideas to Spark Love and Connection
5. Stay Busy With New Goals
After a breakup, there may be a lot of weight left in your life and, without caution, the empty space left from your partner can be filled with overthinking.
The mind can naturally go into autopilot and cruise over thoughts, memories, regrets, and fears of “what if” as if on a loop putting you further in the past.
In order to break this cycle, the best option is to stay busy by planning purposeful new goals and challenges.
Channeling your energy into something productive, we are able to prevent thoughts from deteriorating into ineffective thought cycles.
Consider it a fantastic time to focus on self-improvement. You might want to take a cooking class, create a blog, or get back to being consistent with a workout program once and for all.
Or perhaps to be serious about your career goals, taking a course for professional development, or even contemplating business ideas.
Setting goals and working towards them will keep your mind busy while at the same time, provide you with a sense of accomplishment when you may need a boost to your self-worth.
The great thing about being busy is that it creates momentum.
6. Avoid Rebound Relationships
One of the most common mistakes after a breakup is to immediately jump into a new relationship.
On the surface, it seems to be an easy solution, you have someone (new) who is taking your mind off things, who has a new person committed to you, and who helps fill the void the previous partner left behind.
However, it is hardly ever the case that a new relationship is going to produce any long-term happiness.
In fact, new relationships may prolong the healing process since they have you distracted, and not allow you to really reflect, process, and heal from the relationship you just exited.
Moreover, you might find yourself using another person to temporarily mend your heart.
Temporarily soothing the loneliness does not resolve deeper emotional work.
You can be almost guaranteed that you have front-loaded unresolved feelings, processing, and emotional baggage into whoever your new partner is, which isn’t fair to you or that person.
Read also: Practical Tips on How to Get a Girlfriend and Keep Her Interested
Consider what was enjoyable for you, what was not enjoyable for you and what you need to feel satisfied.
Then, when you are ready to open your heart again, you will do it from a place of clarity and confidence instead of loneliness or fear.
7. Change Your Environment
Sometimes your environment can keep you tied to the past, even if the person is not physically near.
You might change your space by rearranging your room, redecorating your apartment, or just visiting new places.
A context change can help you reframe your experience and can break the cycle of ruminating.
Even small changes like visiting a new coffee shop or exploring a new park, can lead you down your path toward renewal and independence. It is literally a physical realization that life is moving forward.
8. Practice Gratitude and Positivity
It may feel improbable at the moment, but practicing gratitude can have a strong and positive impact. Start small by writing three things you are grateful for every morning.
In doing so, you will take your focus off loss and center yourself with a sense of abundance. Being positive doesn’t mean glossing over your grief.
It means thinking about the bigger picture: the lessons you’ve learned, the strength you’ve gained and the fact that you’ve made space for someone even greater to fit into your life.
9. Understand the “No Contact= Self-Respect Mindset”
When you get the urge to reach out to your ex, remember this, not contact is about punishing the other person, it’s about self-respect. You need time for peace and clarity and to heal.
Every time you don’t contact your ex, you are making a new choice from a place of strength for you.
Read also: Understanding Expectation in Relationship: Realistic Standards for a Strong Partnership
With all of your new choices and change from not contacting your ex on a regular basis, over time you will notice the urge starts to go away, this is the true sign of healing.
10. Believe That Time Heals (Because It Does)
No matter how unbearable it seems right now, just remember this: time will eventually lessen the heartbreak.
A few weeks down the road, you’re going to look back and realize that the sharpness of your pain has faded.
A few months down the road, you will not even be able to remember what the sting was like. Trust the process and be patient with yourself.
Final Words
Breakups are going to never feel like it’s easy, nor should they. They should not leave you broken an impossible amount of time.
For example, If you’re wondering how to get over a breakup fast, then the answer is balance. Allow time for grief, and then take steps to grow.
Unlearning any unhealthy habits and practicing self-care, you are going to heal much more quickly, emerge stronger, wiser to have a greater capacity to love in your own life moving forward.